Social Media

MENTAL HEALTH GUIDE

Although digital technology is beneficial for children's social relations, social media use and excessive screen time raises important concerns about children's emotional well-being and online safety. Below are some tips to help your child develop safe, healthy habits for social media use.

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American Psychological AssociationPromoting healthy technology use for children

Child Mind InstituteMedia Guidelines for Kids of All Ages

Healthychildren.orgFamily media plan and media time calculator

Healthychildren.org Dangerous internet challenges

The New York Times How to use TikTok's parental controls

YouTube Parent resources for YouTube

Facebook Safety resources for parents

Instagram Parental guide for teens on Instagram

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The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents of kids and teens place consistent limits on media use. Media includes entertainment (like watching TV and playing video games) and education (like researching a school project). Screen time should not replace time needed for sleeping, eating, being active, studying and interacting with family and friends.

Kids are using social media to share experiences, gain approval from others and develop peer relationships. They also use it to develop their own identity, which is normal during adolescence.

Over 65% of teens spend more than four hours on their phone daily. This means that instead of in-person connection, some children and teens are becoming reliant on social media content to connect with others. Kids often feel drawn to using and posting on social media excessively simply because the kids around them are.

Social media can be difficult to navigate with kids and teens. Increasingly, kids are relying on social media as primary means of social connection rather than in-person connections.

On social media, kids and teens see a snapshot (and often unrealistic representation) of someone else's experience. Social posts often lack context, so kids end up projecting their own context onto what they are seeing. Kids may assume that they don't measure up to their peers or that their experiences aren't what they should be.

When connecting in person with friends, kids know how their friend is reacting to what they say with verbal communication and body language. If there is a miscommunication, they can talk about it and move on. On social media, kids may not know how their peers truly feel or what they meant by their posts or comments because they are missing verbal communication and body language.

If kids receive a negative comment or message, they can go back and view it on social media indefinitely (unless deleted). Because of this, they may dwell on the negative message with every review — leading kids to feel worse about the post.

Social media can be an excellent resource for exploring new ideas, staying aware of current events, promoting community with others and keeping in touch with family and friends.

On the other hand, social media can act as a hub for potentially harmful or questionable activities that can lead to peer harassment, increased stress, anxiety, depression, body image concerns and loneliness.

There are certainly safety issues associated with social media, such as the risk of bullying; privacy concerns and oversharing; viewing and sharing inappropriate content; and the permanence of social media posts — meaning once something is posted, it can be hard to take back.

Teens might be more inclined to participate in risky behavior online for both physical and emotional reasons. While their bodies and hormonal systems are fully developed, their brains are not.

It's important for parents to have open communication about safe social media practices with their kids.

How Do I know We’re Still Friends? Navigating Peer Relationships During COVID-19

Learn more about CHOC's Pediatric Mental Health Services

At CHOC, we specialize in providing a full continuum of pediatric mental healthcare, including inpatient, intensive outpatient and outpatient program services.

The use of social media sites has been associated with negative outcomes such as peer harassment, sleep problems, depressive symptoms and anxiety. In a recent survey, 64% of parents reported worrying about their child being exposed to inappropriate content and 34% indicated that their child spends too much time using social media sites.

Establish the amount of time that your child can spend on social media each day so that it does not take the place of healthier activities.

For younger children, keep computers in a "public" location. Store phones and computers somewhere other than your child's bedroom at night to prevent unsupervised use. For older children, have open, honest discussions about what sites they can access and what content is off-limits. Set up filters to restrict access to inappropriate content. Supervise your teenager's social media use (but don't "spy" on them).

Active participation and communication are preferred over strict monitoring (e.g., use of activity tracking applications, access to private messages), unless there are serious concerns about your child's online activity.

Ensure your child knows how to block and report users. Talk to your child about the risks of location tracking and sharing and help them turn off location settings. Review with your child each application's privacy settings so that they understand what is private and what is public. Remind your child that everything that they share, even privately, is likely to be permanently accessible.

Talk with your child about inappropriate or unsafe online behaviors, such as sending hurtful messages, posting personal information or sharing explicit material. Walk through how these behaviors can lead to real-life consequences both now and in the future. Discuss how online messages can easily be misinterpreted both by your child and by others, as you can't rely on tone of voice or facial expressions to help you understand the intentions and feelings of others. Model the digital behavior you expect from your children or teens.

Spend some time reviewing social media with your child. Walking through it together can open up conversations about safety and misinformation and also be a way for you to understand how your child is using social media.

Encourage your child to come to you if they witness cyberbullying or other troubling information online. If cyberbullying involves a classmate, report it to the school's principal and/or the school superintendent if your initial inquiry receives no response. Report all threatening messages to the police and document any text messages, emails or posts on websites.

Many social media websites have an age minimum of 13 to ensure that younger children are not accessing inappropriate content. Do your research and understand the media your child is using and how they are using it. Know the audience (younger children, teenagers, adults) and purpose (educational vs. recreational) of each platform before allowing your child to create a profile.

Children and teens will misuse social media. Be empathetic and use this opportunity for teaching. However, if your child is involved in sexting, bullying or posting self-harm images, be sure to intervene early and enlist professional help if necessary.

Social media can be a fun but dangerous place. To protect yourself from being exploited, bullied, disrespected or tricked, it is important to follow some important rules for social media safety.

Be honest with your parents about the apps you download and the content you access. Adults can help protect you from predators and from content that might be inappropriate or dangerous.

Do not post or share messages, pictures or videos that you would not want the world to see. You cannot control how information is shared by those who see it, even if you post it privately or later delete it. Remember that can never permanently erase something that has been published on the internet. You could face consequences later on in school, college interviews or job applications, for example.

Make sure you know who can see what you post. The safest choice is usually to allow only your friends to see what you post. Always disable location services. Although it can be fun to let your friends know where you are, this also allows people with bad intentions to know how to reach you. Never share your passwords with anyone other than your parents.

Play it safe and only accept friend requests from your real-world friends. Do not agree to meet strangers offline, and never give away your phone number or address.

Remember that online communication does not allow you to tell how others are feeling, as you cannot see their facial expressions or hear their voice. Make sure that what you write cannot be misinterpreted. Be respectful of others’ posts, even if you don't agree with them. If you wouldn't say something to someone's face, don't say it online.

Tell an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or school counselor, if you or anyone you know is being cyberbullied. Do not delete any communications. Save all screenshots and emails so you can show an adult. Block the person who is harassing you and make copies of all communications if needed.

It's easy to get "sucked in" on social media and spend much more time than you intended to on it. But when people spend a lot of time on social media, they are at a higher risk of experiencing negative consequences, such as disrupted sleep and what researchers call "Facebook depression" (low self-esteem associated with comparing self with others who are thought to be "better off"). Spend quality time offline as well. Setting a timer or a time limit on your phone's settings for social media apps can be helpful.

Research shows that continual media coverage of community or health crises overexposes kids and teens to negative information, which can lead them to feel confused, overwhelmed and worried.

Excessive use of media is associated with negative psychological and physical consequences, including depression and obesity.

Encourage active interpersonal exchanges, such as video chats with same-age peers, and steer children away from using electronics solely for passive activities like scrolling or watching videos.

Be sure that your child is also spending time away from electronic devices, engaging in physical activity and enjoying other social and educational activities.

Talk with your kids about what they’re seeing about the news on social media. Often, social media shows sensational sound bites and only parts of a full story. This can be anxiety-provoking due to how it's presented. Chat with them about what's happening and use this as a time to provide some accurate information and reassurance.

Obtain critical updates from reliable sources once or twice a day; avoid sensationalism or repeated coverage of the same information.

Are you feeling distressed or agitated? If so, turn off the news and pursue other activities. Although some level of worry, confusion or sadness is to be expected, if your child senses you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, they will be more likely to become emotionally dysregulated as well. React calmly and provide reassurance so that your child will follow suit.

Be aware of people who are looking for quick fame and how they may be influencing your kids. Increasingly, trendy online challenges — such as the "blackout challenge" or "Sleepy Chicken challenge" — are leading to injuries and poisonings. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests that parents help their kids and teens build intellectual muscle and consider the consequences of dangerous internet challenges.

Ask your kids about the biggest challenges they’ve heard about in their circle of friends and what they think about the challenge. Calmy and without judgment, help them judge the risk of this challenge by talking about what could happen to someone who tries the challenge.

Asking questions about school trends, friends and fads may yield more answers than direct questions about their own activities.

If your child mentions an interest in participating in a challenge, use open-ended questions to encourage them to think through each step of the challenge. Ask them to consider the worst outcomes. You can still exercise your parental options, such as limiting contact with certain kids or making specific activities off limits.

Staying in touch on their preferred communication platforms can help you keep in touch with what goes on in their day-to-day lives. Watch their stories for clues about what is going on in school and with their friends. Let your children know that they have to friend you in exchange.

Underwater breath-holding challenges may cause drowning

Learn more about CHOC's Pediatric Mental Health Services

At CHOC, we specialize in providing a full continuum of pediatric mental healthcare, including inpatient, intensive outpatient and outpatient program services.

For more information on other mental health conditions that can be aggravated by excessive or dangerous social media use, please visit our other mental health guides.

View all mental health guides

The guidance on this page has been clinically reviewed by CHOC pediatric experts.

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The contents of this webpage, including text, graphics, audio files, and videos ("Materials"), are for your general information only. The Materials are not intended to substitute qualified professional or medical advice, diagnoses, or treatments. CHOC does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, or other information that may be mentioned on or linked to this webpage. Always call your physician or another qualified health provider if you have any questions or problems. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, go to the nearest emergency department, or call 911.

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